Criteria for Selecting a Liberal Party Leader

In the spirit of balance the following is a list of Selection Criteria for a Liberal Party leader:

Liberal Leader - Selection Criteria

• Quick as a wink
• Complete faith in the trickle-up theory of economics
• Bowed when being duchessed
• Looks good in lycra
• Not suppository of all knowledge
• Can tell the baddies from the goodies
• Not-bad-looking daughters
• Friends in high (media) places
• Master of monosyllabic catch phrases
• Fetching in orange safety vest and hardhat or butcher’s apron
• Tunnel and rear vision
• Parrots platitudes perfectly
• A touch of homophobia and misogyny
• Avoids in depth media events
• Attends weddings and sporting events on taxpayers
• Invisibility: Answer no questions, tell no lies
• Agility to keep an election promise without meaning to

Any resemblance to Tony Abbott is purely intentional.

Please add your thoughts on criteria in comments.

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